


The Visitor

by Tastethatcake



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, F/M, Fluff, SpaceTime, Truth or Dare, cuteness ensues, normalstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-14
Updated: 2014-03-27
Packaged: 2018-01-15 16:01:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1310767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tastethatcake/pseuds/Tastethatcake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The beta kids are coming over to Dave's apartment for a visit in the summertime, but Jade arrives a day early. Dave commences operation Woo Jade Harley, and cuteness ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tickle Fights and Glasses Trading

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to tumblr user turntechgnostice. I hope you feel better soon.

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and you are currently chilling with an EXTREMELY CUTE GIRL.

Wait, did you say cute? You meant silly. You are chilling with an EXTREMELY SILLY GIRL. Yeah, that’s it.

This EXTREMELY SILLY GIRL is currently hanging off your bed, flipping the pages of the newest issue of Game Bro without really reading anything. She’s upside down, with her legs hooked on the bed and her upper body resting at an awkward angle on the floor. Her arms are outstretched above her head and her glasses are perched precariously on her forehead, threatening to slide off.

“Oh my goodness, Dave, why didn’t you warn me that it’s so hot in Texas?” She sighs loudly and casts the magazine aside, dropping her arms to the floor dramatically.  
“Don’t you live on Evil Devil Beast Island, smack dab in the middle of nowhere on the Pacific? I thought it was hot there.”  
“It is, but there’s more than one type of hot.” She tilted her head back farther to look at you, her green eyes staring right through your shades. “My island is hot, but in a breezy tropical way! This place is hot in a sweltering sweaty way. I feel like I’m in a soup.”  
“What kind of hot am I, then?” You say, puffing your chest out slightly. She giggles a little and then rolls up the Game Bro and smacks your knee with it. You continue saying, “maybe I’m like liquid nitrogen, because I’m actually so cool but I feel super hot to the touch.”  
“That doesn’t even make any sense!”  
Refusing to abandon that train of thought, you forge on with, “but does anyone know how liquid nitrogen works or what it is? All anyone seems to know is that it’s smoky and really cold.”  
“All it is is nitrogen in a liquid form at an extremely low temperature. Honestly, Dave, it’s literally called ‘liquid nitrogen.’ What did you think it was?”

Sometimes you forget how smart Jade is. Not that it’s easy to forget, as practically every other thing she says is wise or intelligent, but still. Although, she is right; you should’ve been able to figure out what liquid nitrogen was just from using logic.

You take the moment of silence to observe the rest of the room. It’s a typical hot Texan evening, the fading light from the sunset casting a dull glow across the room despite the closed blinds, the old fan chugging away as it blows stiflingly humid air around the room. You’re sitting on the floor with your back against the cinder blocks that hold up your desk, facing Jade.  
“I hope Rose and John come sooner than expected.”  
“Why, are you suggesting that you haven’t been having a radical time with Dave Strider?” You exclaim, voice rich with mock affrontedness.  
“No, I didn’t mean it like that! We just haven’t seen Rose or John for two years! Not since we were thirteen, I think.”

This visit was the third time that you’ve seen Jade in real life and the second time you’ll have seen John and Rose. The first time you met Jade was when you invited your three friends over on the Christmas break when you were thirteen. Only Jade could come, as she had no parental supervision and you assumed that it couldn’t be that hard to convince a dog to let you take a plane trip to Texas. The second time you saw Jade was in the summer of your thirteenth year when John managed to convince his dad to let the three of you fly in. That was the first time you met all three of your internet friends. This would be the third time you’ve seen them, as John and Rose were scheduled to land here tomorrow.

It was odd, actually. Your bro was the one who brought up the idea of inviting Jade over. When you asked him why, he told you that he thought she’d be a “good influence” and that is was time you hung out with “real friends” instead of playing video games all day. It only took a little more persuading to get him to let Rose and John stay for two weeks as well.

“Besides, it’s not like we’re doing anything here anyway. John and Rose’s presences are sure to spice this party up!”  
“Woah, we don’t need them to spice things up. We’re having a rocking party on our own!”  
“Uh huh. So then why aren’t we doing anything?” She asked skeptically.  
“Hey, I don’t see you comin’ up with any kickass party ideas.”  
“Hmm...” She thought for a moment, slinging her elbow over her eyes, before she brightened up and looked at you again. “Lets play truth or dare!”  
“Really?” You sigh. “Isn’t that a bit cliché? I mean, every teen movie  
about white high schoolers ever has had a game of truth or dare. Usually chock full of awkward sexual tension and witty comebacks.”  
“C’mon,” she said, rolling her eyes. “It’ll be fun!”  
“Fine,” you conceded, sighing even more dramatically. She grinned and gracelessly  
rolled out of her upside down position, landing on the floor and scooting towards you. “But only for the irony of it.”  
She grinned her big, silly grin again and said, “but since it was my brilliant suggestion, I get to ask you first. Truth or dare?”  
“Dare.”  
“Okay...” she thought for a moment, tapping her chin. “Go make out with that big black guy on your poster for thirty seconds.” 

The poster she was referring to was your Midnight Crew print, featuring the four main characters of one of your favourite webcomics. You weren’t really into the comic anymore, of course, as it long since ended. You mostly kept it up for sentimental reasons. “Wow. This is going to be highly sexual,” you say, standing up and walking towards the poster. 

You lean towards Hearts Boxcar’s handsome face and... stick your tongue all over it.  
“Euuugh!” Jade said, giggling furiously.  
After a few seconds of licking, you pulled your head just an inch away and said, “damn, this is so hot. Seriously, those kink fiends on my brother’s websites would pay to watch this shit. Don’t be ashamed if you get a girl boner, Jade. I would too, in your position.”  
“Keep going! You’ve only been at it for fourteen seconds,” she encouraged through her laughter. After an imperceptible amount of time to you, Jade broke in saying, “alright, it’s been thirty seconds. Dare complete.”

You go and sit down across from her again, watching as she quickly pulls off her glasses and wipes tears out of her eyes, a big smile still on her face.  
“Alright, it’s your turn to humiliate yourself. Truth or dare?”  
She thinks for a moment, deeply considering her options. “Truth!”  
“If you had to date any person in the world right now, who would you date?”  
She freezes, and you can feel your feet tingle. Of course, you keep the cool and neutral expression, but you can feel your stomach acids boil. This idiotic game of truth or dare shouldn’t mean anything, but for some reason, to you it does.  
“You, I guess. I mean, I don’t know that many people anyway...”  
A sense of relief and embarrassment both dominate your brain, with an odd feeling of victory thrown in there. “I guess that’s not surprising. Who wouldn’t want to date the legendary Dave Strider? Nobody.” As per usual, you cover up any feelings you have with a couple of jokingly egotistical remarks.  
“Shut up,” she responded playfully, her cheeks just slightly flushed... or maybe it’s your imagination. You really can’t see how her skin looks with these shades on. “Anyway, truth or dare?”  
“Dare.”  
“Okay, uh... take off your shades!”  
Now it’s your turn to freeze. “Nah, these shades are part of my look. To take them off would be ruining to my image. I’m gonna go truth.”  
“It’s too late, buster! You picked dare, you gotta deliver!”  
“That’s not how the game works. I can swith to truth if I don’t want to do the dare.” And you don’t want to do the dare. You really don’t.  
“Not in this game! Take off the shades, bro. Or I’ll take them off for you.”  
You make a disbelieving noise and say, “I’d like to see you try!”

Jade leans forward, grinning wildly. You suddenly realize that she’s taking that last comment as a challenge. 

Shit.

She leaps towards you and quickly grabs your shoulders, pushing you to the right and out of the way of the cinder blocks. You grab her arms and try to push her away, but she’s got a strong grip. She throws all her weight against you and pushes you towards the floor, laughing maniacally the whole time. You’re just about to start pushing back when she sticks her fingers towards your rib cage.  
You know exactly what’s coming.  
Hell naw.

You don’t even have time to react, she’s already wiggling her fingers against your sides. At first you manage to keep the cool, neutral persona, it just looks a little strained. But then she adjusted her position just a little bit, and you’re done for. A huge grin spreads across your face and you laugh louder than you have in forever. You’ve always been super ticklish... but Harley was the first person since grade one to exploit it.  
“No, stop! I command you!” You manage to choke out between wheezes.  
“Not gonna happen, Strider!” She digs into your sides and tears of laughter slip out of your eyes. You can barely see, and you attempt to cover your sides to block her evil fingers, but the tickling has rendered you weak and she easily pushes your hand away.

Then, she climbs on top of you and straddles your hips. She keeps tickling with one hand and moves the other one up to your face. You realize what she’s doing and you grab her wrist to push her hand away, but that meant removing your cover and leaving yourself vulnerable. She redoubles her efforts and you have to relinquish her wrist in an attempt to save yourself from the tickle monster.  
“Stop, stop! No!” Your laughter is so loud that you know your bro can hear it. Tears trickle out from under your shades.

You can see her evil smile as she sneaks her hand up to your face and grabs onto your shades. Finally quitting the tickling, she uses both hands to remove them before you can even make an attempt to stop her.

And then there was silence. Well, almost silence, since your gulping breaths were still pretty loud as your body desperately tried to replenish the air you lost throughout the battle.  
You saw her for the first time without that ever existing dark tint on your vision. She was even prettier like this, her tan skin slightly ruddy from all the laughing, her tank top an even brighter green that matched her eyes perfectly.

Those eyes.

A vibrant, shining green, wide and playful past her glasses. They didn’t look so playful now, though. You tried to read her expression. Horrified? Disgusted? Shocked? Maybe a mix of all three. After all, that poor girl was exposed to the tragic freak show that was normally so well hidden behind your shades.

Red eyes.

Honestly, who decided it was a good idea to give poor, mostly good and innocent people freaky features like that? You had faded red eyes and white eyelashes, and it scared anyone who saw them. Which was very few people, actually, thanks to your trusty shades.

Sure, you wear them for irony’s sake. But you mostly wear them as a defense mechanism.

But you failed, in the worst way possible. Your crush saw them, and now she was going to be scared and turned off forever. Good job, you. Fucking amazing.

You assume a cool and casual expression. Just because you fucked up doesn’t mean you’re going to let your image fall apart. You just hope your eyes match your attempted cool demeanor. You can feel that the expression is forced.

Jade finally opens up her mouth, and you wait for the screams. “Your eyes are beautiful!”

Your mouth falls open. You didn’t really expect that.

“Why didn’t you mention that you have red eyes? That’s soooooo coool.” She looks dumbstruck.

You freeze completely as she gently places her hands on either side of your face and leans in to get a better look. You become very aware that she’s still sitting on you all of the sudden.

“I know, they’re pretty awesome. But not everyone thinks that, so I tend to just keep that particular facet of my coolness on the DL.”

She releases your face and leans back quickly, as if she just realized how... up close and personal you two are. You think about kissing her for a moment, but then she awkwardly climbs off of you and the moment is over.

“So, are you... uh... gonna give those back?” You gesture to the shades still in her hands.  
“No way!” She gleefully pulls off her own glasses and passes them to you to hold before she puts them on. The aviators are way too big for her face, and she smiles as she looks at you through the shades. God damn, she’s so fucking cute. How does she manage it? You just don’t know. “You see everything like this? How can you stand it?! Everything is so dark!”  
“Yeah, that’s kind of the point of sunglasses,” you respond wryly. “You get kinda used to it, I guess.”

You put on Jade’s glasses without even thinking about it. The lenses are super thick and you can barely see through them. “God, you’re so blind!”  
Jade laughed. “Aw, that was cute and so uncool. Your eyes got huge for a second and then all squinty.”  
“Yeah, well, I can’t even look through them.” You respond as you take them off. She takes your shades off in turn and you do a quick swap, putting your own separate glasses.

“Dave, you have really cool eyes. I think you should consider going shadeless more often!” She paused and then said more timidly, “at least around me.”

You can’t help but smile at that. “I’ll consider it, for the fawning young maiden.”

This is going to be the greatest two weeks of your life.


	2. Snooping and Guitars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple people asked for another chapter, so I did it. Sorry for the short length and low quality.

Your name is JADE HARLEY and you are currently taking a look around your FUTURE BOYFRIEND’S room. Wait, did you say “future boyfriend’s?” You totally meant GOOD FRIEND. Yeah, you’re taking a look around your GOOD FRIEND’S ROOM. Perfect.

“So, this is where the magic happens!” You say approvingly, looking at Dave’s mess of mixing equipment.  
“Totally. It’s where the beats fly.” Dave responded from the floor behind you.  
“But I thought beats were supposed to drop like it’s hot?”  
“They do, and then they fly off into music heaven to join with my sick rhymes.”  
“So would you call them...” You pause, looking over your shoulder at him. “Song birds?”  
Dave lets out a long groan before saying, “Harley, that might’ve just been the worst fucking pun I’ve ever heard. I’m ashamed just to allow you to stay in my home after hearing that.”  
“Aw, c’mon. It was funny, admit it.”  
“...Okay, it was pretty great. I laughed on the inside.”  
“Now you’re just making fun of me!”  
“Well, what do you expect? After making such insanely off the hook wordplay like that,  
you just have to expect some criticism from jealous pun making peers.”  
“Aw, you’re jealous?”  
“Damn right.”

You turn back around and move away from the mixing equipment to look inside his closet. There’s a thick line of red pullovers and plaid button downs hanging haphazardly from bent metal hangers. Below that is a pile of pants, underwear, and socks.  
“Dave, do you never clean up around here?”  
“Wow, you start by violating my privacy by yanking off the sacred shades, and then you  
go groping my undies? There’s only one reasonable response to that.”  
“What?”  
“I get to look through your stuff.” He pulls your suitcase towards himself, gesturing at the zipper.  
“Yeah, go ahead.”  
He unzips the green Squiddle patterned bag and starts tearing through your stuff, looking for something of interest. “Harley... are you serious?”

You turn around to see him holding up your fluffy white doggy ears. “Why on Earth did you bring these? What were you planning on doing with them?”  
“I don’t know,” you respond defensively. “It’s never a bad time for animal ears!”  
“But they look like they’re for six year olds. They’re attached to a head band and everything, Jesus.”  
“You’re one to judge!” You spin around, wielding the tie you found on the shelf above the clothes behind you. It was patterned with Homer Simpson’s head and pictures of tiny donuts on a bright pink background. “You own a Simpsons tie.”  
“Um, excuse me? That tie is a work of art. I wore it to my grade eight graduation.”  
“Are you serious?”  
“How could you even accuse me of joking about something like this?!”  
You snort in response and through the tie back on the shelf. Dave might have been sarcastic about that in his usual deadpan way, but you had no doubt that he actually wore that tie to graduation. It was the exact kind of thing you would expect him to do. You couldn’t help but be amused by the mental image of a younger Dave in his grade photos, straight faced and with those shades, a perfect black tuxedo... and then the Simpsons tie.

You are broken out of your amused reverie by Dave’s voice again. “What the hell, Jade? What kind of nasty furry sex party were you expecting to have here?” You turn around to see Dave rather adorably wearing your doggy ears... and holding your green lacy thong. 

You stomp over and snatch the thing out of his hands. “Hey, thongs are comfy, alright? And they look great underneath tights.”  
“Hey, I ain’t complaining. I like thongs as much as the next guy.” Is that a blush creeping out from under his glasses that you see? Yep, it definitely is.  
“Uh-huh.” You say, throwing the underwear back into the suitcase. “Can’t we just do something cool now? Like, look at that.” You walk over to his shelf, eyes skimming past the shelf of dead things to the guitar case underneath.  
“Oh, I have no fucking clue how to play that. It’s actually my brother’s, but I stole it a couple years ago when I thought it would be all cool to learn to play.”  
“Huh. I can play a little. I mean, I can play the bass pretty well, so the guitar isn’t all that different.”  
He paused, watching you unzip the case, before saying, “wow, look at that. I just remembered that we were playing truth or dare, and it just happens to be my turn to ask you. I dare you to play a song on the guitar and sing to it and everything.”  
“Hey, we’re not playing anymore!”  
“Actually, the game never technically ended. So we are.”  
“...But what if I choose to do truth instead of dare?”  
“Then you’re a huge wussy. After all, I did two dares, and you only did one truth.”

Damn this Strider and his logic! Sadly, you can’t turn down a challenge like this when your bravery has been insulted. 

“Fine! I’ll play a song, then.” You grab the shiny beige instrument and seat yourself on the edge of the bed and look down at Dave. “But, wait... I don’t have any songs memorized. I’m not really all caught up in the new and hot music on my isolated island.”  
“Then make something up.” He grins evilly. That fiend. He’s gonna enjoy watching you struggle, you just know it.  
“Okay, fine. But don’t laugh.” You strum the guitar a bit, trying to think of some words. Them finally, you begin hesitantly:

“I used to live on my very own planet, and I was the queen.  
But I had no one to rule, no one to love. I was lonely.  
One day, a brave knight arrived, lost on a journey.  
He was out to slay a dragon, but instead he found me.  
I remember saying to myself sometime in the past  
That we were happy, and we were meant to last  
But he was shot by a monster, and he died  
He died because I lied  
I was not a queen, I was a witch  
And the monster was my own creation, mine  
I was the dragon that whole time.”

You stop playing and close your mouth. “Ugh. That was bad, sorry. Talk about awkward rhyming.” You refuse to look up from the guitar, humiliated.  
“Wow... that was pretty good, for someone who was stranded on a island with their creepy stuffed grandfather their whole life.” Something in his voice sounded more genuine than usual, so you look up. His mouth his hanging open slightly. “I mean, you have a nice singing voice. All sweet and shit.”  
“Uh, really?” You try not to laugh. After all, there’s the cool kid, all blushing and gaping at you, while still wearing a pair of dog ears made for little girls. You fail, and loudly burst out into a fit of giggles. “Sorry, sorry, you’re just looking at me with that face!”  
He blinked, closed his mouth, smiled. “Oh, sorry. I was just demonstrating what it looks like when someone hears an angel sing for the first time.”  
“Daaaaaave!” He was silent for a moment, just staring. “Whaaat?”  
“Oh, sorry. I just got lost in your eyes.”  
“And you said I was bad for the song bird thing!”  
“Are you from a deserted jungle island in the middle of the Pacific?” He asks. You stay silent, waiting for the punch line. “Because you look like you’d be wild in bed.”  
“Daaaaaaaaaave!” You place the guitar onto the bed beside you and flop onto the floor in front of Dave, punching him in the shoulder.  
“Don’t tell me you’re about to do that tickley shit again,” he said, ducking away from you.

Instead, you just wrap your arms around his shoulders and plant a kiss right on his cheek and then let go of him. You let out another round of giggles as he goes beet red.  
“Woah, not cool, Harley. You should’ve warned me. Then I could’ve turned my head at the right time and gotten the kiss where it counts.”  
“Don’t try your luck,” you say before shoving him playfully.

Operation Woo Dave Strider might be even easier than originally thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, and I'm doubly sorry for the song. Clearly, I am not a poet. Those with sharp eyes will be able to tell that that little poem was mirroring certain events in Homestuck!  
> Anyway, another chapter may or may not be done.


	3. Pizza and Rooftops

You are now DAVE STRIDER, rapper extraordinaire and famed lady killer. Okay, maybe not that last part so much, but you are currently finding your romantic endeavors to be fairly successful. Both you and Jade are having a great time, and you think that it might finally be time to start putting the moves on her. If only you knew exactly how exactly to put the moves on a girl, or even what these moves were.

“What else is there to do around here?” She asks while looking out the window, watching the traffic pass outside.   
“Not much, I guess. It’s already 9:30 so it’s not like there’s really anywhere we can go. “  
“Well, it seems like we’ve pretty much covered your room. Hey, that reminds me,  
where’s your brother? I haven’t seen him since you guys picked me up from the airport.”  
“He’s probably at the gym working out or clubbing or something awesome like that. He told me that he would be out tonight, probably didn’t wanna disturb us or anything.” Okay, that was kind of a lie. The truth was, when you found out that Jade would arrive first, you asked him to stay out tonight so that you could get romantic with her without the awkward threat of him walking in. He winked and said “sure, just remember to use a condom,” even after you insisted that it would just be some innocent wooing. Christ, he could be a pain sometimes.  
“Well, that’s good of him. But... what time do regular people usually eat dinner? Because it’s nine thirty already, and...” She trailed off, but you catch her drift instantly.  
“Oh, yeah, right. Totally forgot about food and all that. Guess pretty girls with nice voices distract me from my duties as a host.”  
“Ooh, Mister Strider, ooh. Your compliments just get better and better.”  
“Damn right, my skill with cute girls is always evolving.”  
“Swoon!” 

You lead Jade out of your room and down the hall. The area is void of puppets, upon your request. “Jade thinks they’re creepy, can you keep them out for at least the first night? It makes us look like huge weirdos.” You had said. “Yeah, whatever. Wouldn’t want to kill my little bro’s game.” He had responded.  
“This is a really cool apartment, Dave. I was always under the impression that it would be filled with weapons and puppet paraphernalia.” The two of you enter the attached kitchen and living room, where Jade immediately makes a beeline for the fridge. 

You lunge towards her and yell, “Jade, wait!” But it’s too late. She pulls open the door and your stomach drops, anticipating a wave of crappy but sharp weapons to spill out right on top of her-

But nothing happens.

“What’s the matter, Dave?” She gives you a puzzled look and you approach the fridge. To your surprise, it’s filled with food. Actual healthy non-Doritos food.   
“Uh, nothing. It’s just that Bro sometimes keeps his weirdo crap in there, and I was worried it would all fall out.”   
“Well, there’s no katanas or shurikens or whatever in sight.” You silently thank your brother. Maybe you’ll ironically give him a father’s day present this year. “So, what’s on the menu for tonight?”  
“Oh, just the finest Strider cuisine, home cooked and prepared for the esteemed guest of honor.” You gently push her to the side and open the freezer, pulling out a cardboard box and showing it to Jade, your movements dripping with bravado. “Voila.”  
“Frozen pizza?” She laughs.  
“Delissio frozen pizza,” you correct. “None of that nasty McCain bullshit. Not sure why my Bro got the pineapple one, though. Only he likes it.”  
“Well, I can’t wait to try it. I’ve never had frozen pizza before.”   
“Prepare to be amazed,” you respond, opening the box and grabbing a pan.

She opens the oven and you slide the pan in, and she sets the temperature as you grab a couple of Cokes and stick them in the freezer.  
“So, where are going to eat this delicious haute cuisine prepared by Chef Dave Strider? I don’t see a dining table around here.”  
“Well, me and Bro always just eat wherever we want. The couch, our rooms, whatever. We could eat and watch a movie, I guess.” Not the most romantic thing in the world, but there’s honestly nothing better. Besides, you suppose that you could get some cuddle time in after the food is done.  
“Hmmm.” She furrows her eyebrows and taps her chin. After a moment, her eyes brighten up and she grabs your shoulder. “I got it! You and your Bro strife on the roof, correct? Why don’t we go up there, have a little picnic.”  
Scratch that, there is something better. “Okay, but you realize it’s almost dark out, right?”  
“Yeah, that’s why we bring candles. You have some, right?”  
“In case of a blackout or whatever.” You nod and open a drawer, revealing a stack of candles. “A Strider never goes unprepared.”  
“Great!” She exclaims, clapping her hands. Christ, she’s so cute when she’s excited, you can hardly bear it. Or should you say... Harley bear it. No, forget that, that’s stupid. “Now all we have to do is wait for the pizza to be done.”

She begins to take a look around your living room and you pull your phone out of your pocket, absently checking Pesterchum. You’ve received messages from both John and Rose.

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 18:32 --

EB: how are things going with jade?  
EB: has she fallen into your arms like a damsel in distress at the end of every romance movie ever?  
EB: or more accurately, have you fallen into her arms?  
EB: gonna go to the airport soon.  
EB: are you two too busy having sex to reply to my messages or what?  
EB: ew gross i have to scrub my mind of that mental image.  
EB: anyway, i’ll see you tomorrow dude.

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 18:41 --

 

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 17:22 --

TT: It has been brought to my attention that Jade has already arrived at your humble abode.  
TT: I suppose having a small, obscure air travel business pick you up does have it’s perks.  
TT: John and I have to actually wait for our flights, like peasants.  
TT: Oh well, I’m sure that you and Jade are having fun.  
TT: Together.  
TT: Alone.  
TT: I hope that you will take this golden opportunity to... get to know each other.  
TT: ;)  
TT: Yes, that was a winky face. I used it to properly express my desire to learn about your romantic hijinks involving Miss Harley.  
TT: Oh, it seems that it is time for me to catch my own flight.  
TT: See you soon, Dave.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 17:37

“Wow, John and Rose sure do seem to have a lot of interest in our romantic lives, don’t they?” Jade’s says, her head right by your ear, causing you to jump and turn off your phone.  
“Oh, yeah. Creepy motherfuckers like to perve out on the deets about everything we do, I guess.”  
“They’re so silly!” She responds, walking back towards the oven. “Oh well, the pizza has been in for thirteen minutes, and the box says that it should be done right now.”  
“Oh, right. Dammit, Jade, this was supposed to be Strider cuisine, not Harley cuisine. You’re too on the ball for me.” You say as you grab the oven mitts.  
She opens the oven door and stands to the side, allowing you to reach in. “Hey, I just want to be a good guest. This is only my third time going to a friend’s house, you know.”  
“Yeah, yeah. But you’re gonna have to let me do the dishes, whether you like it or not.”  
“Oh, if you insist,” she sighs dramatically, closing the oven door.

You cut the pizza while she grabs the Cokes from the freezer and pours them out into wine glasses. The two of your grab supplies for your little picnic, including your best smelling candles and your finest plastic forks (despite the fact that you both eat pizza with your fingers) and are about to leave the apartment when Jade says, “wait. We can’t just sit on the hard roof. Don’t you have a picnic blanket or something?”  
“Sadly, no. Bro and I weren’t really the type of family to have picnics every Sunday or whatever the fuck.”  
“Fine, we can just use the blanket I brought, then.” She doesn’t wait for you to respond  
before unloading the pizza into your already full hands and racing off to your room. She’s back in a few seconds with a blue, cloud patterned blanket folded under her arm. “Alright, let’s go!” She says before grabbing the pizza out of your hands and opening the apartment door.  
“Slow down, you’re carrying a lot less stuff than me!” You say, but it’s too late, she’s already bounding up the stairs at the end of the hall. “Damn, how are you so fit? I run up these stairs twice a week for my midday strifes, but you’re scaling this shit like it’s nothing,” you call up to her. “Do you have mountains over on Hellmurder Island? Or does your freak of a dog chase you around all day?”  
“My house just has a lot of stairs!” You can hear the sound of her flip flops smacking the pavement a few flights above you. “Normally I just transportalize myself from one place in my house to another, but sometimes I run up when I want a workout.” You hear the sound of the roof door opening, so you skip several steps, sloshing and almost spilling the drinks in the progress. 

“Wow, Dave... this is really cool!” She says when you finally reach the roof a few moments later, closing the door behind you. It is a nice view, as it is almost completely dark out now and all you can see is city lights and busy traffic for miles around. “I’ve seen the city so few times, it’s amazing to see all the lights and hear all sounds. It’s just so loud here. The quiet on my island is nice, but can get tedious sometimes.”

You set the drinks, cutlery and candles on the ground next to the plates and blanket before joining Jade near the edge of the roof. Now that night had fallen, the air was considerably less hot, and there was a light breeze wafting across the roof. The wind ruffled Jade’s hair and the golden city lights reflected against her glasses and you can’t help but think how ironically cliché it would be to kiss her right now.  
“Yeah, it’s not a bad city, really. Everyone has stupid ass accents, but what can you do.”  
“I like the Texan accents! You’ve got a bit of a twang yourself, you know.”  
“Bullshit, I learned to keep that out of my voice by age nine.”  
“No need to get defensive! I think it’s cute, actually.”

You don’t respond and there’s silence between to two of you for a moment. You just stand and breathe in the summer air, basking in the moment, watching taxis race past and people bustle down the streets.   
“There’s so much I wanna do in the city while I’m here.”  
“Like what?”  
“Go to the mall, eat food I’ve never even heard of before, go to a museum, and...”  
“And what?”  
“Do this.”

And then, in one fluid motion, she turns toward you, puts her hand on the back of your head, and gently pulls your face down towards her’s. And then you kiss. At first, you’re so surprised that you forget to close your eyes and you’re just looking at her long eyelashes and freckled nose, but then you register what’s happening and you turn your head slightly, feeling your glasses clink against her’s. Her lips are soft and her skin is warm, and your hands instinctively move to hold her back.

After a few more seconds, you break apart and she looks up at you with flushed cheeks and a bright smile. “Sorry, I just had to. I knew you’d be too much of a wussy to do it, so...”  
“Hey, I was about to! You can’t rush a guy with these things. I was just contemplating how cliché the moment was beforehand.”  
“Yeah, sure,” she says skeptically. “But look, the pizza must be getting cold!” 

You spread out the blanket and she lights the candles, and you sit down facing each other.  
“Hey, this pizza is pretty good. Not sure why you don’t like the pineapples, though.”  
“They leak gross sweet goo onto my otherwise godly pizza.” You pick off the pineapple chunks and leave them on your plate, where Jade swiftly grabs them and plops them in her mouth.  
“I don’t know, I like a little sweetness everywhere. Besides, you know what they say about pineapple and sex...” she grins playfully.  
“Jesus, Harley, how do you even know about that? Oh, right, I forgot that you’re registered on a ton of furry forums. No wonder.”  
“Am not! And hey, I go on the internet too. Just because I live by myself doesn’t mean I don’t know stuff.”  
“Whatever,” you say, pausing. “So, what are we going to do after this?”  
“We could stargaze! I mean, we’re on the roof of a tall building.”  
“I think you’re forgetting that you’re in the middle of a huge, bright city. Light pollution rides us like we’re it’s bitch.”  
She looks up for a moment before agreeing, “yeah, I can see about three stars. It’s so different on my island. I can see so much in the sky at night.”  
“Maybe I should go over there one time, take a look at the night sky. See a meteor shower or some shit.”  
“Totally! And you could meet Bec.” She smiled before saying, “oh yeah, I’m not sure what I’m gonna sleep on now that this blanket is all dirty. Maybe I should’ve thought about before grabbing it and throwing it on the ground.”  
“I’m not trying to be pervy or anything, but my bed is probably big enough for both of us to sleep in. You know, just for one night before we can wash the blanket.”  
“Oh, Mister Strider! You’re trying to bed a young women before even asking her out on a date? How scandalous!”   
“But, Miss Harley... I thought this was a date,” you smirk.   
“Is it really?” She asks, her tone more genuine now.  
“I don’t see why not. We kissed and stuff, and we are having a picnic on the roof at night, so... it seems like a date by the standards of all romance movies ever.”  
“It’s a perfect first date! Except, there’s one thing. You can’t go covering up your eyes when you’re on a date with a girl. You’d better take those off.” She smiles mischievously.  
“Oh, come on,” you complain, but you slide the shades off anyway and leave them folded on the blanket beside you.  
“That’s better!”

You take another bite of your pizza. “You know, I am really not trying to steal your virginity or ruin the purity of a young maiden or whatever with the bed thing. I’m just offering so you don’t have to sleep on the floor.”  
“I know.”  
“But if you want to...” You talk into your pizza slice. “We could cuddle and stuff.”  
You look up to find her looking right into your eyes. “I’d love to.” 

You just nod and go back to eating, but you can feel your stomach writhe with excitement. You did it. You kissed the girl you’ve had a crush on for three years, and you’re about to go cuddle.

Operation Woo Jade Harley was a huge success. You’re not sure how the relationship will work when she has to go back to her island, but for now you’re just going to enjoy the hell out of these next two weeks. For the first time in your life, you’re going to let whatever happen, happen. Because as long as you have Jade by your side, nothing could go wrong.

Absolutely nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to those who encouraged me to write more than one chapter of this fic! I'm finishing it up at three chapters because I've started working on other Homestuck fics, but that doesn't mean that I didn't enjoy writing this one! Oh, and a fun thing to note, I slipped a 413 somewhere in this chapter... though not necessarily in number form. Hee hee. Anyway, yeah, thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> also I might write a second chapter for this idkkkkk  
> EDIT: Since I am continuing this, I changed the description and title to something more relevant. Thanks for commenting!


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